Best Big Tits & Asses | (Checkout the scene previews. You’ll need new testicles after you visit these sites!) | | | | Posted by BoobaWooba’s Web Thrall |
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| Brandy Dean Turns Down BoobaWooba Porn Contract - Cites Alien Analingus As Sticking Point |  The intergalactic porn world is still in amazement over the arrival of the stunningly large breasted newbie Brandy Dean to the smut scene. When BoobaWooba first eyed a photo of Ms. Dean, he immediately knew that this busty chick would soon become a sensation around the cosmos. With tits this large and perfectly round, BoobaWooba reasoned, there wouldn’t be a single porn producer in the entire galaxy that would not be seeking to star Brandy in their next big boob smut opus. BoobaWooba sprang into action in an attempt to sign Brandy to an exclusive 4-year contract with BoobaWooba Entertainment, confident that the generous perk package and top dollar salary offer would be more than enough to beat the competition. Unfortunately, however, negotiations broke down when BoobaWooba’s agents could not convince Brandy to agree to a standard and very reasonable point in the contract. Apparently, Ms Dean has a problem with performing analingus on aliens, which is a hard requirement for all BoobaWooba contract stars.
As she stormed out of the BoobaWooba Entertainment offices, Ms Dean could be heard protesting, in a quite vehement tone, “There’s no fucking way I’m going to lick that disgusting toad’s greasy green ass. I’d rather eat regurgitated Cheetos out of Barbara Walters’s used douche bag!” BoobaWooba issued a statement shortly thereafter stating that he is deeply saddened at Brandy Dean’s irrational rejection of his generous contract offer. He insisted that the girls in his existing stable of BoobaWooba Entertainment contract stars have absolutely no problem licking his ass on a weekly basis, and have been fulfilling their contractual obligations in this regard for years and years. In all that time, he asserted, there have been only 342 hospitalizations due to persistent retching, chronic dry heaving, or uncontrolled projectile vomiting following analingus among the bevy of BoobaWooba contract beauties, and only 39 of them have been institutionalized for post-traumatic dementia as a result of meeting their contractual analingual duties.
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| Kate Considers Breast Implants - Panic Ensues |  A perfect pair of big natural tits is a rare thing these days. Sadly, too many women are deciding to “go bigger” with the assistance of a plastic surgeon, rather than accept the smaller, but still plump and juicy, titties that the gods of Boobianity gave them. The resulting monster boobs often resemble beachballs. Actually, sometimes they resemble Gorekian Bull’s balls, which are far larger and much less smooth, though admittedly tasty when served with a light mustard sauce and a chilled merlot. Unfortunately, BoobaWooba has learned that busty euro-beauty Kate from Busty Adventures is now considering going under the knife to artificially enlarge her already perfect plump boobies. BoobaWooba awoke me in the middle of the night in a fit of panic to tell me the horrible news he had just read on the internet. I advised the dashing porn baron that he should be careful before believing information retrieved from the web.
Hopefully, this will turn out to be just another sick internet prank, but in the event it isn’t, BoobaWooba has decided that he will attempt to buy off all plastic surgeons in Kate’s general area to prevent her from finding a willing doctor. If we corrupt all boob doctors on Earth, and on all of the 67 inhabited worlds immediately surrounding Earth’s solar system, that should probably suffice.
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| Whitney’s Tits Nearly Cause A Rip In Space! |  BoobaWooba informs me that he has just barely averted a dire cataclysm that could have potentially caused the entire galaxy to have been sucked into a powerful singularity that would have consumed us all. The crisis emerged when the universally esteemed and sexually unmatched alien smut king was overseeing the testing of a new device, under development by the BoobaWooba Inc Special Projects Division, which is headquartered in a massive twin-domed research facility on Gazonga Prime. This new device, when completed, will allow anyone to achieve an unlimited number of repeated instantaneous orgasms on demand simply by inserting the device’s baseball sized output module into their rectums and activating the patent-pending Orgasmatron pulse wave.
BoobaWooba, the greatest and most beloved porn baron the galaxy has ever seen, decided to be present for the testing of the Orgasmatron prototype, given that he has taken quite an interest in the project — an interest prompted by an embarrassing erectile dysfunction problem he’s developed in recent months. While waiting for the test to get underway, BoobaWooba distracted himself by surfing for porn on his handheld computer, during which time he spotted a gallery of a big tit cutie named Whitney that got him extremely hot under the collar. BoobaWooba was so taken with the girl that he excused himself and headed for a restroom stall to see if could rub one out real quick before the test began. To his great frustration, however, BoobaWooba found that, even though he was mentally quite aroused, his afflicted microscopic penis just wouldn’t become erect.
Never to be defeated in his endless quest for sexual satisfaction, BoobaWooba had the idea that he himself would be the test subject for the Orgasmatron, that way he could relieve the massive sexual tension that had built up inside his dysfunctional loins. BoobaWooba barged into the lab and declared his intentions to the gathered scientists and engineers. Against their advice, BoobaWooba climbed into the test chair front down and raised his bony green ass into the air to facilitate the insertion of the output module into his slimy alien rectum. After much physical effort and countless gallons of anal lube had been applied, the baseball sized module was firmly lodged up BoobaWooba’s tiny ass. Appearing to be in significant discomfort, the greatly respected and dignified alien porn king then turned his tortured expression to his technicians and strainingly uttered “What in all galactic fuck are you waiting for, Do it already!”
The technicians then activated the Orgasmatron and BoobaWooba was anally infused with a torrent of orgasmic pulse waves. His tiny alien penis immediately sprang to attention and BoobaWooba began to uncontrollably spew his chunky green ejaculate all over the lab floor. The great alien fuckmaster produced so much cum, in fact, that it began to run into the control room where the project engineers were gathered. One of them then slipped on BoobaWooba’s ball slime and went careening into the Orgasmatron control panel and accidentally jammed the intensity setting at “Oh, Shit!” BoobaWooba then began physically gyrating and emitting a continuous high-pitched tone that was later identified as his race’s sexual distress call. The sight of the galaxy’s wealthiest and most powerful porn tycoon being aggressively sexually stimulated through the anus by an overpowered and out-of-control high-tech sex toy was bad enough, but things were about to get dangerous for far more souls than just the unfortunate BoobaWooba. The Orgasmatron’s anti-matter power source was now overheating and in severe risk of exploding, which would cause a rip in the very fabric of space that could suck the entire galaxy up. Luckily, BoobaWooba’s crack team of engineers were able to power down the Orgasmatron in time to avert a cosmic disaster. BoobaWooba received treatment for a permanently gaping anus at St. Areolas Memorial Hospital and was released after an overnight stay. Good news is, BoobaWooba reports that his erectile dysfunction has completely cleared since the incident.
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| | | Posted by BoobaWooba’s Web Thrall |
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| Bridget’s Tits Grow To The Size Of Volkswagens During High-Tech Breast Implant Test |  For the past several months, BoobaWooba Inc has been secretly developing revolutionary new breast implants that are fully adjustable in size. A woman could, theoretically, make her breasts larger or smaller at the touch of a button using these state of the art fake boobies. BoobaWooba has been looking forward to the rollout of this exciting new product with great anticipation ever since he greenlighted the project at the beginning of the year, so he was delighted when his project engineers recently informed him that they were entering the final testing phase of product development (BoobaWooba had impatiently ordered that the product be rushed into the final phase, against the advice of his engineers). BoobaWooba decided to attend the first test of the new tit implant prototype at the super secret BoobaWooba Inc Special Projects Division located on Gazonga Prime.
The test subject was a beautiful blonde hottie named Bridget, who BoobaWooba thought would look perfect with a pair of EE cans hanging uncomfortably from her chest. The dashing and virile porn king took a seat near the test area and anxiously awaited the completion of the implantation process. Once fitted with the implants, Bridget was ready to have her boobs enlarged. BoobaWooba gazed on in amazement as the the technician activated the implants by remote control and Bridget’s tits began to grow to full EE size in a matter of seconds! BoobaWooba was simply overjoyed. Not only was he witnessing the birth of a pair of perfect gargantuan tits which were already producing a strong degree of arousal in his slimy green loins, but he also knew he stood to make trillions of quatloos from the sale of these ingenius adjustable boob implants that would certainly revolutionize intergalactic breast enlargement for eons to come. Unfortunately for everyone involved, though, Bridget’s tits inconveniently did not stop growing.
Picture the bizarre spectacle of an attractive blonde woman seated in a lab chair looking on helplessly as her breasts grow uncontrollably to Bunyanesque proportions. The technicians frantically scrambled to shutdown the implants and finally managed to, but only after Bridget’s tits had each inflated to roughly the size of a Volkswagen Bug! Having witnessed this tragic human debacle, BoobaWooba rushed to Bridget’s side and proceeded to mount her massive tits. Everyone in the room looked on in shock as BoobaWooba, lost in a haze of pure unadulterated lust, began to frenetically masturbate his fully erect 2-and-a-half inch penis until he ejaculated a substantial amount of his precious seed all over the ridiculously large tits that rested underneath him. Bridget transitioned from fear to anger and began hysterically screaming at BoobaWooba to “get your perverted little green corpse of a body off of me NOW, you sick infected ass pimple!” Bridget’s angry undulations caused her huge breasts to jiggle wildly, which then made BoobaWooba lose his balance and slip on the green ejaculate that now glazed the monstrous mammaries. The terrified smut baron plunged headlong into Bridget’s cavernous cleavage and suffered horrific mangling as her titanic ta-ta’s shifted violently, rendering the formerly handsome alien porn mogul a bruised and battered mess.
Thankfully, Bridget’s tits were finally returned to normal size and the boob implants were shelved at phase 1 pre-development stage, where they’ll probably remain for some time until BoobaWooba Inc lawyers can acurately assess the liability risk of releasing this questionable product to the galactic public. Bridget settled her own lawsuit with us for an undisclosed amount. As for BoobaWooba, he was admitted to St. Areolas Hospital and received treatment for extensive physical injuries and psychological trauma, but doctors say he is expected to make a full recovery a couple weeks after his full skeletal transplant is completed.
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| | | Posted by BoobaWooba’s Web Thrall |
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| Velicity Von Declines Booba-Harem Queen Offer |  The galaxy is still reeling from the news that the irresistibly sexy and curvy boob queen, Velicity Von of Earth, has declined an offer by BoobaWooba, renowned alien porn mogul and cosmic playboy, to become Queen of his intergalactically esteemed Booba-Harem. BoobaWooba is still in shock that anyone could reject a chance to become part of his private collection of busty beauties. After all, as Queen of his harem, Velicity would have had the pleasure of sexually servicing the dashing 3-foot-1 alien porn king on a daily, and often hourly, basis. Now, of course, the Booba-Harem Queen’s duties are not exclusively pleasure oriented. Velicity would have also been expected to clip BoobaWooba’s fungally infested yellow toenails, pop his back acne, and occasionally wipe his ass during episodes of fecal urgency induced by drunkeness and/or sexually transmitted intestinal parasites.
It is unknown what the real reason for Velicity’s decision is, but BoobaWooba feels certain that the poor girl must be insane for passing up her chance to service his quarter-inch wart-covered penis on a professional basis. Ms. Von’s only comment, issued through her agent, was “If that little perverted, hideous frog comes within 10 miles of me, I’m going to kick his slimy green ass back to whatever fucking backwater of a swamp planet his mother shit him out on.”
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| | | Posted by BoobaWooba’s Web Thrall |
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|  BoobaWooba is currently on his boob-shaped blackberry speaking with his psychiatrist about an urgent mental health issue that has just arisen. It seems that the fantastically admired, impeccably dressed (when he is clothed, at least), and perpetually horny porn king has gone all this time without taking notice of the very busty beauty Anna Nikova, who has just done a sizzling video for Extreme Naturals where she gets her gorgeous round ass fucked deep and her great tits sprayed with a copious amount of human male ejaculate. This video is really one of the best these people have ever produced, rivaling the best big tit porn videos put out by BoobaWooba Inc’s Erotic Entertainment Division itself, BoobaWooba concedes. Anna sucks this big cock so lustily, she must have gone seven decades without sex before she did this scene. When the fucking begins, Anna takes that fat cock up her tight bald pussy and loves every last minute of it. But the best of the best begins when this unfathomably lucky chap gets to stick his large phallus into the pristine round ass of this gorgeous busty creature. This is one video that will most certainly cause you to have to pop some blood pressure meds, as it has caused BoobaWooba to pop three different meds for his newly diagnosed Boobulan Attention Deficit Disorder.
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| | | Posted by BoobaWooba’s Web Thrall |
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|  This isn’t the first time BoobaWooba has issued a warning to his many loyal and adoring fans that a featured babe on this blog may cause in them a sexual reaction so strong, so powerful, so lustful, that they may not finish viewing her gallery without developing severe medical problems that could potentially involve the testes. BoobaWooba - the greatest, sexiest, classiest, and most beloved porn peddler this side of the Garzekian Cosmic Abyss - believes strongly that he must issue this warning to you due to the intensity of Candace’s scene at 40 Inch Plus. The monumentally massive ass that this mocha hottie is sporting has to be seen to be believed. Yes, it is huge, but it is also perfectly round and it jiggles like a bowl full of Jarokian Snot Jello placed at the foot of BoobaWooba’s bed during one of his interspecies sex orgies.
If you like big booties, you need to watch these clips now, but remember - don’t say we didn’t warn you. BoobaWooba Inc, the largest and most vast porn conglomerate in the universe with operations in 3 galaxies and several alternate realities, officially disclaims any liability for any injuries sustained in the viewing of Candace’s video clips, including and especially any testicular bruises, traumas, scaldings, or implosions due to overuse.
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| | | Posted by BoobaWooba’s Web Thrall |
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|  Violet is a seriously hot big boob blonde. She’s got a great pair of big juicy tits that get oiled up and fucked in this episode at Prime Cups. Not only do they get fucked, but they also get a healthy showering of cum as this dude busts his nut all over these incredible boobies. BoobaWooba commented that Violet looks like the kind of chick who could suck a Zarkerian Foosball through a termite colon, judging by the way she scarfs the sizeable dick that is placed in her face. He also believes that Violet could probably qualify for the 56,743rd annual Intergalactic Big Tit Sex Olympics in the “Fastest Ejaculation From A Tit-Fuck” category. Those hot oiled boobs are just too sexy to resist for long, I guess, because this guy couldn’t help but blow what looked to be about 5 gallons of semen all over them.
Don’t miss the full video episode at Prime Cups, this chick needs to be seen to be believed.
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| | | Posted by BoobaWooba’s Web Thrall |
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|  BoobaWooba tells me that he has detected a hot latin chick with an ass the size of the Epcot giant-golfball-looking thingy. Her name is Athena and she’s currently being featured over at Extreme Asses. This babe definitely has got some serious junk in the trunk. Her ass has got curves like the streets of San Francisco, and it looks as juicy as a Georgia peach (ok, enough of the corny analogies already). In any event, BoobaWooba is extremely attracted to this monumental piece of ass. He has decided to attempt to recruit this sweet big booty latina into his personal harem, although he realizes it could be a hard sell at the moment.
If you want to see Athena get fucked as hard as Bill Clinton at a cheerleader audition, you need to join Extreme Asses and watch the whole half-hour video episode. This hot assed beauty sucks cock, rides it, then eats the huge load of cum that gets eagerly spewed from it. She looks like she knows how to use that formidable big butt of hers, so you can’t, in any way, afford to miss this one!
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