January 4, 2006
BoobaWooba Turned Away From A Big Butt Sex Orgy - Is Almost Disemboweled By Doberman Pinschers  It was a travesty of cosmic proportions for which there could be no possible defense. The great and sexy BoobaWooba, undeniably the most virile, most beloved, most attractive porn king in galactic history has been refused admittance to an Earthling sex party that featured the roundest, juiciest, plumpest big butts ever to be witnessed in the 37 colonized galaxies. Once BoobaWooba learned of this ambitious big butt free-for-all, he and I, his trusted indentured webmaster and right-hand man, jumped in the Booba-Cruiser and headed for Earth at hyper speed with the full expectation that once we arrived, the highly esteemed green alien porn king would easily be granted entry to the round ass rich orgy. Perhaps you can imagine the stunned disbelief that BoobaWooba experienced when he arrived at the gate to the mansion where this orgy was being held and was told by the guards that he was forbidden to enter. How could it be, BooobaWooba silently wondered, that the galaxy’s finest and most prolific pornographer, winner of 72 “Deep Thrust” porn awards (12 for best interspecies anal) could be turned away from any sex party, much less a big ass fuck-fest like this one?
Never to be discouraged, the indomitable intergalactic smut pusher quickly devised a clever plan to get his tiny green ass into the action despite the stubborn intransigence of the guards. There was simply no way in the galaxy that BoobaWooba was going to miss out on the opportunity to slip his wart-covered 2-inch penis into the glorious plump asses that he imagined were waiting for him on the other side of that gate. BoobaWooba was sure his plan would work, since similar plans had worked flawlessly on countless occasions in the past. Sadly, however, the guards would not accept the bribe, so BoobaWooba was forced to entertain more devious ideas to gain entry to the big butt orgy. At his request, I beamed down a gallon of “Sphincter-So-Fine” brand sex lube, a set of elastic anal beads, and a pair of mexican maracas. When I received this request, I automatically assumed that BoobaWooba had successfully achieved entry to the party and was preparing for some serious backdoor action. He clarified the situation and explained that he was going to use the lube to squeeze himself through the narrow bars of the mansion’s fence, and that he was then going to hang the maracas from a tree with the elastic anal beads to distract the three doberman pinschers that were patrolling the grounds. BoobaWooba then lectured me that though he admires my optimism, I shouldn’t be so quick to jump to conclusions.  Once BoobaWooba had successfully squeezed his tiny alien body through the fence bars, he quickly made his way to a large tree near the front of the mansion and hung the maracas on one of it’s branches using the elastic anal beads. He gave the beads a good yank and the maracas started shaking and making noise that would hopefully last long enough to allow BoobaWooba to get himself past the dogs and into the back pool area, where all the big butt debauchery was going down. Sure enough, the three dobermans heard the maracas and ran down to the front yard to investigate. BoobaWooba took his chance and quickly moved towards the backyard entrance while the dogs were distracted. It was then that BoobaWooba, who had, up to this point, been certain that he had planned everything perfectly, realized the one fact that would unravel his otherwise flawless plan and put him in extreme physical jeopardy -- the “Sphincter-So-Fine” anal lube he had used to get through the bars, and which he was now drenched in, was SCENTED (Multi-Species Ass Potpourri scent, to be exact). BoobaWooba, in stark terror, turned his head to see that the three doberman pinschers had picked up on the foul scented lube that covered his entire body and were now running, with mouths a-drooling, right for his tiny alien self. Screaming a plethora of profane alien obscenities and reeking of 18 different kinds of ass, BoobaWooba hysterically ran for his very life back to the fence, where he had left his communicator, and frantically signalled me to beam him up immediately. With seconds remaining before the salivating guard dogs would reach and surely disembowel him, the terrified diminutive smut king was finally beamed back to the safety of the Booba-Cruiser just in the nick of time.
BoobaWooba was profoundly disappointed that he could not enjoy the pleasures of the VIP Crew big butt sex party, but he is also extremely grateful to be alive. He swears that he will never again try to crash an orgy, but he reserves the right to continue to use ass-scented anal lubes. |
