April 22, 2005
BoobaWooba Shits Himself While Standing In Line At “Booberoni Pizza Palace” BoobaWooba had, for a long time, assumed that the magnitude of his humiliation at “Busty Bertha’s House of Booze & Cooze” would never be matched by any indignity that he could ever face in the future. Yesterday, however, BoobaWooba sadly reports that he did in fact experience an indignity sufficiently massive to compete with the night of penile-enlargement terror. It occured while he was standing in line at the trendy “Booberoni Pizza Palace” located just outside of New Titcago on Mammula IV. BoobaWooba had stopped in to pick up a 16” boob-lover’s special, a tasty fat drenched pizza pie that comes with 2 big tit porn movie rentals and a free cover pass to “Big Tit Betty’s Hands-On House Of Lap Dance.” BoobaWooba had brought his hand-held computer with him, so he decided to surf the internet a bit to pass the time while standing in line at the busy bistro. It was then that he ran across a sample movie clip of Gianna, a naturally busty babe with a set of perfect DD boobs that made BoobaWooba salivate relentlessly and pop a sizeable erection, which created an almost noticeable bulge in his speedo shorts.  BoobaWooba, as usual, could not think about anything but the gorgeous mega-titted hottie that was before his eyes. He was totally oblivious to the fact that his order was now ready and that several customers behind him in line were getting very angry with the diminutive green smut-wrangler for holding up the mass of hungry patrons. One customer, a bald but muscular purple alien, silently approached BoobaWooba from behind then issued a blood-curdling scream at the top of his 6 lungs in protest of the hold up. This caused BoobWooba to jump a full 8 feet off the ground in sheer unadulterated terror. When he landed, BoobaWooba realized that he had lost all control of his bowels due to the scare and was now freely shitting all over the popular pizza parlor and it’s patrons. The force of the defacatory stream that was emitting from BoobaWooba’s anus was so great that it had blown a hole right through BoobaWooba’s stylish cyan/violet checker print speedos and was firing indiscriminately through the entire establishment, all as our boob-mongering hero was spinning helplessly on the floor like a possessed dradel. As if this were not humiliating enough, it so happened that BoobaWooba had been secretly followed to the pizza joint by a group of freelance photographers who had stalked the famous smut peddler in the past (BoobaWooba jokingly refers to them as the “BoobaRazzi”). Suffice it to say that the entire shitstorm was captured on film and the footage was quickly posted at the Cosmic Enquirer web site for trillions to see.
One bright side to this whole scatological disgrace - the Cosmic Enquirer snap poll conducted just a few hours ago found that 79% of galactic citizens have an improved opinion of the great and extremely regular BoobaWooba after seeing the pizza parlor footage. 68% apparently rated the footage “the funniest shit I’ve ever seen.” BoobaWooba believes this proves once and for all that any publicity is good publicity. |
