August 20, 2005
BoobaWooba Returns From Boot Camp After Having Been Drafted - Claims Military Not Corrupt Enough BoobaWooba has just returned from the United Galactic Federation Space Force recruit training center on Nipplona III. Almost four months ago, BoobaWooba was shocked to receive a notice from the Space Force informing the intergalactically esteemed smut peddler that he had been drafted for military service. BoobaWooba was initially very concerned at this news, but he experienced a sense of relief when he remembered the many members of the Galactic Congress he had paid exorbitant bribes to over the years. He quickly contacted Senator Garxelian Jeraxo, chairman of the Senate War Committee, to see if the senator could pull some strings to get his little green butt out of this distressing predicament. BoobaWooba reminded Senator Jeraxo of the many busty & bootyful BoobaBabes that made the senator’s 567th birthday party one for the sexual record books, not to mention the Orion Slave Girls, the 7-foot tall female bodybuilder hookers, the Sleazoid Stan Ribbed Anal Probing Mini-Droid™, and the cordless Cleveland Steamer machine -- all provided for free courtesy of BoobaWooba Inc.
BoobaWooba was understandably distraught when Senator Jeraxo informed him that the military had denied all requests from the senator’s office to rescind the draft notice. BoobaWooba was shocked at the disturbing lack of corruption at the highest levels of the Space Force. Faced with apparently inevitable conscription, BoobaWooba decided to do what any other patriotic citizen of the Galactic Federation would do after all bureaucratic options had been exhausted -- flee to Clanada Prime. Just as BoobaWooba was packing up his belongings at the BoobaMansion, several Space Force troops arrived at the residence to collect the draft dodging smut pusher. BoobaWooba was dragged from the BoobaMansion screaming and weeping in a scene reminiscent of televangelist Jim Bakker’s arrest on Earth several years ago.
 Once BoobaWooba arrived at the training facility, he was quickly shaved of all body hair, which basically consisted only of a few semen encrusted pubic curlies near the base of his microscopic penis. He was then assigned to company 332 and introduced to his drill instructor, a triple-titted Zercorian War Whore named Sergeant Varla Gigamams. Ordinarily, BoobaWooba would be quite excited at the sight of a triple titted Zercorian War Whore, but this particular one had a disposition that would intimidate a genetically modified hypertrophied Zercorian War Pimp. BoobaWooba immediately tried to buy off Sergeant Gigamams with a promise of a large-sum quatloo deposit to her personal account upon BoobaWooba’s successful discharge from the service, but that only made the burly alien woman angry -- very angry. BoobaWooba claims that the Sergeant changed color and emitted a foul-smelling translucent slime from her ears, then burst out a ground-shaking roar that made BoobaWooba lose all bladder control before fainting in terror. When the dejected alien smut king awoke in the base medical clinic half an hour later, he noticed that the nurse’s station, equipped with an internet enabled computer terminal, had been left unattended. At this point, BoobaWooba had not had a good jerk off session in more than 5 hours, an unacceptably long period of time to go without self-love for the horny and hyper-libidinous cosmic smut master. BoobaWooba maneuvered his tiny green self over to the computer terminal and quickly found a porn gallery on the internet featuring a gorgeous busty hottie to fuel his very first Boot Camp ejaculation.
BoobaWooba’s Boot Camp ordeal wasn’t over yet, there was still much more indignity and ignominy to yet be endured by our beloved porn peddling superstar. In the next entry, BoobaWooba will share with you the ball-busting details of the rest of his thankfully short military career. Yes, you can all rest assured that our smut mongering hero is safely out of the service. Corruption does seem to be rare in the Space Force, but as BoobaWooba says, every ass, no matter how glorious, inevitably has it’s pimple. |
