September 22, 2005
BoobaWooba Continues His Boot Camp Tale - Blackmails The Base Commander With Beasty Porn After the sexy and virile BoobaWooba returned to the barracks from the base medical clinic, he began immediately to devise a cunning plan to extract himself from the militarily conscriptive predicament he found himself embroiled in. After much thought, BoobaWooba decided that the best way to get his little green ass out of the Space Force would be to blackmail the base commander, Colonel Darexo Changxelius, an esteemed and highly respected Space Force officer who, it turned out, just happened to be a subscriber to one of BoobaWooba’s extreme beasto-fetish porn sites called BoobaWooba’s Debauched Den Of Zoological Iniquity. BoobaWooba managed to contact me, his trusted and loyal indentured webmaster, from boot camp via a micro-communicator I had earlier embedded just above a superficial purple mole on his left butt cheek. He directed me to search the BoobaWooba Inc porn site member files for any of the officials at the Space Force Recruit Training Command. Luckily enough, Colonel Changxelius popped right out at me and I knew we were in business. When I informed BoobaWooba that the good colonel’s favorite porn episode was the award-winning “5-Headed Zenovian Sewer Hog Picks Up Hot Harvard Coeds For Sweaty Horizontal Mambo Action” BoobaWooba just cooed with wicked satisfaction. BoobaWooba then quickly informed me that he needed to end our conversation due to the fact that several of his fellow recruits were now cracking humiliating jokes about him for talking to his own ass.  While BoobaWooba waited for the incriminating files I sent him through UPS Interstellar Delivery containing the proof of Colonel Changxelius’s embarrassing online porn habits, he was subjected to physically and mentally exhausting military training as the sadistic and incorruptible Sergeant Varla Gigamams joyfully drilled BoobaWooba’s little green ass till it bled. [BoobaWooba is concerned that many of you might misunderstand the previous sentence. For the record, Sgt. Gigamams drilled BoobaWooba relentlessly in terms of military discipline, not anally.] After several painfully long weeks passed, the UPS Interstellar Delivery file shipment, which had been delayed by a massive double supernova in the Gazonga sector, finally arrived. BoobaWooba quickly devised a clever plan to get himself into the Colonel’s office which employed the use of a paid stand in midget, green spray paint, and hallucinogens. BoobaWooba snuck off to Colonel Changxelius’s office where he spotted the good Colonel at his computer desk through the window. It seemed the libidinous base commander was having a little afternoon porn break as he was drooling over the very curvy busty blonde with great plump tits that graced his monitor screen. BoobaWooba quickly jumped into the office through the window and confronted the horny Colonel with the evidence of his wild porn viewing habits at BoobaWooba’s Debauched Den Of Zoological Iniquity.
Shocked and humiliated, Colonel Changxelius agreed to BoobaWooba’s demands that he, the greatest porn peddler the galaxy has ever seen, be immediately discharged from the Space Force in exchange for BoobaWooba’s promise to keep the Colonel’s porn memberships a secret. Feeling just a tad bit sorry for the defeated base commander, BoobaWooba threw in free lifetime memberships to BoobaWooba’s Barnyard Sex Romps and BoobaWooba’s Gigantic Sea Beast Sex Olympics, plus an invitation to BoobaWooba’s next interspecies sex party at the BoobaMansion. The Colonel was simply thrilled and both gentlemen parted company with smiles on their faces. Now that BoobaWooba is safely discharged from the Space Force, he would like all his fans to know that he looks back on his brief military career with great pride. BoobaWooba claims to be a great patriot who would gladly send any of his cherished slaves or employees to die in battle for the United Galactic Federation, so long as sufficient notice is given so that his empire could continue to run smoothly as replacements are hired/bought. Also, he expects that fair compensation would be offered for any slaves or indentured servants that were to be called into service -- perhaps at 15% over market price, considering the burdensome nature of relinquishing trained forced labor. |
