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Monthly Archives: February 2007
Porn King Insists Alexis’s Ass Responsible For Dream Homicide!
BoobaWooba once related a dream to me that he had had where he was laying naked at the center of a very large room that was surrounded by massive marble pillars. He looked up and saw a gorgeous woman enter the enormous room wearing a tiny white gown that barely covered her amazing body. As she approached, the esteemed intergalactic porn baron could see that she was naked underneath the gown and that she had the curves of a goddess. When she neared BoobaWooba, she removed her gown leaving herself totally naked and revealing a phenomenally round ass that was a sight of pure perfection. It was the most splendid big round butt that our porn-slinging superstar had ever laid eyes on – round, firm, and protruding like a bubble of ecstasy. BoobaWooba relates that the dream then concluded with this bubble butt goddess sitting on and asphyxiating the master smut peddler with her massive keister while tiny pink elves danced around the room singing “If Ya Think I’m Sexy.”
BoobaWooba insists that this new girl at AssParade, Alexis Texas, is a virtual carbon copy of the woman in his famous dream. He insists that her ass is every bit as divine as the one that snuffed the life out of his unfortunate dream self. In this scene, Alexis gets doused with oil and is greased up for some naughty sex that caused BoobaWooba a significant amount of carnal satisfaction. Just watching that perfect round ass get oiled up is all you’ll need to blow a few loads into the tissue paper, BoobaWooba assures me.
Jayden Refuses To Cater To An Emerging Alien Market – Claims She Is Not Prejudiced
Today, BoobaWooba interviews a sexy young thing named Jayden, who is being featured at Big Tits Round Asses in a scene you simply have to see to believe. This girl has an ungodly body that was evidently designed for maximum sin. The curves on this woman never seem to end, and her ass is a round, bubbly bundle of joy. When BoobaWooba discovered her while enjoying his 999-year membership at BTRA, he set out to arrange an interview with this gorgeous example of busty beauty. BoobaWooba believes that Jayden is one of the hottest busty babes to enter the debauched world of internet porn in many eons (which, considering that BoobaWooba recently won the Intergalactic Porno Award for Best Multi-Orifice Penetration of a Gas Moose With a Power Tool Scene, is a serious endorsement), so don’t allow yourself to miss out on this curvy goddess of big boobs and butts.
BoobaWooba: Oh, my dearest Jayden, thank you so much for agreeing to this interview, my delicious morsel of hotness.
Jayden: (Blushing) Thank you, Mr. Wooba.
BoobaWooba: Now, tell me, dear girl. How in the hottest Hell did you get a body so terribly perfect in every way? I mean your ass is a masterpiece, your legs are stunning, and your tits are worthy of indefinite cryo-archival.
Jayden: Um, well, thanks for the compliments. A lot of guys seem to really like my body, but I always thought I was a little cartoonish, you know? I mean, I’m a very curvy girl.
BoobaWooba: Yes, you most certainly are, my dear! And there’s nothing at all wrong with that! Oh, and as someone who actually is cartoonish, I can assure you that you don’t qualify on that score. So, tell me, have you ever orally serviced a Farzekian Marathon Mule while wearing a cheerleader’s uniform?
Jayden: Um, I don’t think so.
BoobaWooba: Ok, because, there’s a huge market for that on Ferenginar. If you can ever bring yourself to do it, BoobaWooba Inc. would love to shoot that scene for you.
Jayden: (Giggling) Ok, I’ll keep that in mind, but I don’t think that will ever happen.
BoobaWooba: Why is that? Are you somehow prejudiced against Marathon Mules? Or, perhaps, your problem is with Farzekians? They’ve come a long way, you know. That unfortunate sewage tsunami in their capital city was finally cleaned up decades ago and you can barely tell by the smell that it ever happened at all, but people just can’t put the image behind them, it would seem.
Jayden: No, it’s not that, it’s just that I don’t really know what a Marathon Mule is, and anyway, I wouldn’t want to orally service a mule of any kind. And I don’t really care that it’s Fareekian.
BoobaWooba: Farzekian, dear girl, Farzekian.
Big Butt Threesome Impresses BoobaWooba
BoobaWooba points out that this scene he just found over at Assparade is one of the best examples of a big butt threesome he’s aware of. Better, even, than the time he got it on with a Jerokian Ass Beast and it’s twin (these particular ass beasts each sport five large round asses, weighing approximately fifty pounds each — but they generally don’t do anal, a fact that has caused BoobaWooba a great deal of frustration in the past). The scene involves Ice and Flower Tucci, two big butt babes with a passion for naughty sex that stimulates BoobaWooba’s privates so effectively, he wonders how they have evaded his sex slave abduction roundups for so long. Both of these curvy hotties get their wonderful big booties adored and worshipped during the course of the scene, and the lovely Flower even gets her gorgeous round butt fucked with a long thick dick. BoobaWooba says that it’s quite a delight to watch a couple of truly hot asses ride cock so well, and that Flower’s ass, in particular, will go down as one of the most perfect butts in the entire cosmos — with the exception of the butt on his own Jennifer Lopez clone, which was genetically engineered to precise specifications, dictated by BoobaWooba, and is beyond comparison.
BoobaWooba Recruits New Tit Babe Into His Harem – Neglects to Mention Somewhat Important Detail!
BoobaWooba tells me that he has made contact with an unbelievably hot eastern European babe who’s got a perfect set of big natural boobies that she loves to wrap around thick cock. His interview with Niko went very well, apparently. She even agreed to join his galactically famous personal harem. BoobaWooba is quite excited about the prospect of welcoming this horny big tit beauty into his stable of Harem girls, which he insists is a done deal in spite of the fact that Niko is apparently unaware of the fact that her new Booba-Harem duties will require her to live on another planet (Nipplona IV). I advised the great and cunning BoobaWooba that this was no small technicality, but he assures me that Niko won’t mind at all when he springs this fact on her after she is securely strapped into her seat on the hyperdrive enabled Booba-Cruiser enroute to Nipplona.
BoobaWooba: Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, my dear!
Niko: Thanks. You are a sight for sore eyes, too, Mr. BoobaWooba.
BoobaWooba: Yes, that’s exactly what I think! I’m so glad you agree that I am a vision of manly beauty. I always try to convince girls of this obvious fact, but they usually seem to resist the idea, for some reason.
Niko: Well, I think you’re very sexy, Booby. Your bulging muscles make me so hot.
BoobaWooba: The…They do??? What muscles are you talking about? Um, I mean, of course, you’re talking about these muscles! Look at these things, they’re so hard and firm you could crack an egg on them! I workout everyday, you know. (wink, wink)
Niko: Oh, I can see that. My nipples are already getting hard just looking at your gorgeous manly body! I want you to fuck my big boobies right now, you nasty boy!
BoobaWooba: Yes!! Oh, baby, I’m going to fuck every last drop of milk right out of your beautiful juicy boobies!
Niko: Whoa, big boy. Not so fast. I need 1,000 American upfront.
BoobaWooba: You need what? Oh, you want money? Well, my dear, money is no object for the exceedingly wealthy BoobaWooba. I’m so rich, I hire Bill Gates to come over every Thursday to clean the toad shit out of my pool — and I even pay for his interstellar space commute. Tell me, would you be interested in making far more than just a measly 1,000 bucks?
Niko: Well, of course, you sexy green thing. What did you have in mind?
BoobaWooba then proceeded to negotiate a harem contract with Niko. Not once did he mention to her that she would need to relocate to another planet, but BoobaWooba strongly believes that if she registered no objections to performing daily analingus on his purple hemorrhoid infested ass as per the contract, she won’t much mind living on a world named “Nipplona.” And yes, the sum of money she received was more vast than the field of stretch marks on Oprah Winfrey’s thighs.
Shyla Gets Tricked Into Interview – Rejects Opportunity To Perform Analingus on BoobaWooba!
Ok, so her tits are not exactly natural, but they are as delectable as they come. Shyla is a sexy busty blond babe, currently appearing in a scorching scene for Big Tits Round Asses, who packs a honking set of perfect D-size boobs and is not afraid to use them. Her scene is simply incendiary, and will certainly arouse even the coldest of loins without the assistance of any kind of erectile dysfunction medication whatsoever. BoobaWooba, in his infinite and overabundant genius as an intergalactically renowned porn tycoon, was crafty enough to trick Shyla into agreeing to an interview.
BoobaWooba: Welcome my dear Shyla Stylez! So glad you could make it for what I hope will be a deeply probing interview into your divine naughtiness.
Shyla: Um, hi. I think I’m in the wrong office, though. I was supposed to talk to someone about getting a free one year’s supply of edible panties?
BoobaWooba: Oh, right, yes! Yes, my dear, you are indeed in the right office. How could I have forgotten! Yes, the supply will be delivered to your place of residence as soon as we complete this little interview. You don’t mind, do you?
Shyla: Well, I guess not. But nobody said anything about an interview with a talking frog.
BoobaWooba: No, no, my dear. I’m a space alien, not a frog. The sentience should have tipped you off. I’m a Boobulan, to be precise.
Shyla: A whatulan? Look, I didn’t know there was going to be an interview. I didn’t even know there were space aliens. But if that’s really what you are, you better be careful because Immigration is pretty anal about illegal aliens.
BoobaWooba: Not to worry, my dear, I have greased the appropriate palms in your government and can assure you that my presence here is semi-legitimate. But enough about me, I want to talk about you and your exciting porn career, you sexy little bundle of huge titness. Tell me, have you ever had those huge tits fucked on camera by a well-endowed farm animal with priapism?
Shyla: NO! What kind of a question is that to ask me?!! Anyway, I stopped doing those films in Brazil long before I got my boob job. Sheesh!
BoobaWooba: Oh, I’m terribly sorry, my sweet. I didn’t mean to offend you in any way. Let’s move on from your porn career to your personal sexual proclivities. By any chance, do you believe you would enjoy orally soothing my inflamed hemorrhoidal tissue?
Shyla: I’m sorry, what?
BoobaWooba: Would you like to suck my roids?
Shyla: This interview is over, Mr. talking space frog. And I better get that panty shipment on time or it’ll be your little green ass, roids and all!
Sunny Lane’s Bulbous Ass Provokes Uncontrollable Midnight Lust In BoobaWooba!
BoobaWooba recently discovered the very beautiful Sunny Lane, a cute redheaded porn girl with a big round ass that is too perfect to be described. The ordinarily calm and collected porn baron of high intergalactic repute could not contain his excitement when he spotted Sunny on Round Mound of Ass a couple of nights ago. He came rushing into my quarters in the dead of night and woke me from my slumber to announce that he had just found the newest addition to his personal harem. The virile porn magnate, standing right above me, was visibly aroused and, for a second there — in the haze of my grogginess — I feared my servant duties were about to leap beyond webmastering and take on a new unspeakable dimension that would leave my dignity hanging like a chad from the ignominious butterfly ballot of sexual slavery. Thankfully, though, BoobaWooba’s tiny erection was caused by Sunny’s round ass and his lust for her, and it, was reaching truly ecstatic proportions.
At BoobaWooba’s direction, I immediately made contact with Sunny Lane’s agent and offered many millions of quatloos and several hundred Joreelian Vaginal Pulse Suppositories for Sunny Lane’s agreeing to join the Booba-Harem. Amazingly, Ms. Lane refused all offers, but BoobaWooba is certain that when he can get an interview with the big butt babe, he will charm her right off her cheeks and into his permanent analingual service.
Kristi Learns of BoobaWooba’s Intergalactically Acquired STDs – May Decide Against Sex With The Esteemed Porn King!
Rarely does one find a beautiful girl who has a perfect set of big natural tits as well as a nice round ass and a sparkling personality to boot. BoobaWooba, in his great wisdom as a master smut peddler, decided to travel to Eastern Europe in search of such a girl and he was quickly rewarded for his decision. Not only does Kristi possess a couple of the most deliciously perfect titties BoobaWooba has ever encountered, but she also has an ass that could send a Goronian Sex Beast spiraling into a coma. BoobaWooba was able to snag an interview with this sexy busty hottie and he almost succeeded in not disgusting her completely.
BoobaWooba: Kristi, my dear. Thanks so much for this interview. I’ve been looking forward to it since I booked you.
Kristi: Thank you very much, sir. I like to do interviews.
BoobaWooba: Well, that’s good to hear. And please, call me Booby, my father is Sir. Well, actually, he’s also Ma’am since he happens to be a Boobulan Hermaphrodite. But that’s neither here nor there.
Kristi: Ok, I’ll call you Booby. (laughs)
BoobaWooba: Good, good. I have to say, I was very aroused by your scenes for Busty Adventures. You have such a perfect chest, my dear. Your boobs are so big and floppy. They’re natural, is that right?
Kristi: Yes, they are all natural boobs.
BoobaWooba: Outstanding, dear thing. Tell me, does penis size matter at all to you?
Kristi: Umm, maybe a little, yes.
BoobaWooba: You say you like little penises? Outstanding, my pet. Here, let me show you my tiny phallus so that you may adore it. As you can see, it is only 2 inches long fully erect and is already leaking some of my highly nutritious green semen.
Kristi: NO, NO, Mr Booby! I said size DOES matter to me. And I don’t want to see your pee pee. Please, put it away!
BoobaWooba: Oh Gods, I’m terribly embarrassed, my sweet thing! Please accept my deepest apology. I can also make large donations to your favorite charity!
Kristi: It’s alright, I’m a big girl. But, what were those bumpy purple thingies on your penis?
BoobaWooba: Oh, don’t worry about those. They’re caused by a nasty little STD I picked up from a Terrexian Ecstacy Mare in the Bazonga Quadrant a few years back. They are totally harmless to humans, in case you wish to do some horizontal mambo with the total package that is myself. (Wink, Wink)
Kristi: Umm, you know, I think I’ll pass for now.
Codi Lane Goes For The Jugular During Interview With BoobaWooba – Porn Tycoon Barely Survives!
Codi Lane possesses an ass so round, bubbly, and perfect that BoobaWooba could barely contain himself (both emotionally and fluidly) when he heard back that she would agree to do an interview with him. He immediately went about planning a strategy to persuade the cheeky lovely with the big round butt to join his intergalactically notorious harem of busty and bubble butt packing beauties. His first thought was to offer her great sums of money, but then he remembered that his accounts on Earth were all recently frozen by the World Bank due to an investigation BoobaWooba Inc is undergoing into the black market importation of Voraxian “Rip It Deep” serated butt plugs. His second option was to pour on his famous alien charm during his interview with Codi and rely on the fact that he is one of the most desired alien porn magnates among women in all the cosmos.
BoobaWooba: The beautiful and bootyful Codi Lane. What a great pleasure it is to finally meet you, my delicious morsel of a bubble butt hottie.
Codi: Thanks, it’s great to meet you too, Mr. Wooba.
BoobaWooba: Oh, no, please, my friends call me Booba. And my many harem girls call me BoobyWooby, which you’re more than welcome to as well.
Codi: Um, I think I’ll just call you Mr. Wooba.
BoobaWooba: Fine, fine, then. So, dear girl, tell me all about yourself. How did you ever get such a magnificent round ass?
Codi: Um, I don’t know, family genes?
BoobaWooba: Surely there has to be more to it than that. No surgical augmentation? No genetic engineering of any kind?
Codi: Nope, I’m an all natural girl. My boobs are real too.
BoobaWooba: Yes, and those titties are just fantastic looking. Might I have a squeeze, dear girl?
Codi: Yeah, I guess that’d be alright. Are your hands clean?
BoobaWooba: Relatively, yes. Let me see here, oh my! These boobies must be the most perfect big titties on your entire planet. Are you aware of this?
Codi: Yeah, guys seem to like them. Hey! I told you that you could squeeze my tits, not put your hands down the back of my pants!
BoobaWooba: Oh, I’m terribly sorry, dear girl, but your ass is so inviting I just had to get a handful of it as well.
Codi: And what is this purple slime on my tits, Mr. Wooba? I thought you said your hands were clean?
BoobaWooba: Well, I did say they were “relatively clean,” didn’t I, dear one? And they are, in fact, clean relative to most of the time when they’re covered with a combination of saliva, mucous, and pussy juice. Today, they’re covered only with the lube I used to get this Antaran Pleasure Hamster up my ass. Here, let me turn around and show you. If you look closely, I believe you can see the little creature…
Codi: EIAHHHHHHHH!!!! GET THAT CREEPY ASS THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE, YOU DISGUSTING SACK OF ALIEN SHIT! I’M SO GOING TO KICK YOUR SICK LITTLE GREEN ASS, YOU PIECE OF COSMIC FUCK WASTE!!!
At this point, the interview abruptly ended and BoobaWooba Inc security had to be called in to remove Codi Lane’s hands from an asphyxiating BoobaWooba’s throat. And, as you might have assumed, BoobaWooba decided not to attempt to recruit Ms.Codi Lane for the Booba Harem.
Natasha Agrees To Service BoobaWooba, But Only While Intoxicated!
Natasha Nice recently stopped by our offices for a quick interview with the greatly esteemed and awesomely powerful BoobaWooba. Natasha is really making an impression on the intergalactic porn scene. Her boobs are just simply perfect. Those titties are masterpieces of genetic engineering. Her body is nothing but delicious curves and her round ass is a juicy basket of joy.
BoobaWooba: Natasha, I’m so glad you could make it to this interview. I’ve been a big fan of yours ever since I first saw your scene at Big Tits Round Asses. I’m sure you’re an equally big fan of mine as well.
Natasha: Well, I actually never heard of you before I got the request to do the interview. Sorry…
BoobaWooba: No, no, that’s quite alright my dear. News of my greatness is slow to make it to Earth, for some strange reason. You look lovely, by the way. That top you’re wearing accentuates your tit cleavage delightfully.
Natasha: Oh, thanks. Yeah, I like to show my boobs off as much as possible. I think they’re my best asset.
BoobaWooba: I would definitely agree, my dear. Would you be so kind as to take one of your most perfect titties out so that I may examine it?
Natasha: Sure, I guess. You like big boobies, don’t you, little guy?
BoobaWooba: Oh, I am a fine connoisseur of large boobs, my darling. I have 46 sculptures of large breasts positioned strategically throughout my mansion. Perhaps you’d agree to come over some time for a visit and I’ll give you the grand tour?
Natasha: Okay, yeah, that would rock. Is your mansion in LA?
BoobaWooba: No, not quite. It is on Nipplona IV, which is around 567 light years away from here.
Natasha: Is that far?
BoobaWooba: Not with hyperdrive, baby.
Natasha: Fucking cool. You know, you’re not as repulsive as they said you’d be.
BoobaWooba: Might that mean that I have a chance of getting into your pants, my dear?
Natasha: I don’t know, do you have a lot of alcohol at your mansion?
BoobaWooba: More than you can possibly imagine.
Claire Refuses To Do Porn Scene With BoobaWooba – Obviously That Time Of The Month
Today, BoobaWooba interviews Claire Dames, who is being featured on Big Tits Round Asses. She stopped by BoobaWooba Inc’s American office to chat with our smut pushing hero about life in the porn biz. This woman is pure perfection, in BoobaWooba’s professional opinion. Her tits are massive, she’s got a bald pussy, and her ass needs to be fucked to be believed.
BoobaWooba: Hello, my dear. How are you today?
Claire: I’m good. Um, please don’t touch me, ok?
BoobaWooba: What do you mean?
Claire: I mean please keep your fingers — those are fingers, right? Please keep your fingers off my leg. Mr. Wooba, I agreed to this interview only because my agency said it would be good publicity. I’m not into you or anything.
BoobaWooba: I understand, I understand. Women often don’t realize the powerful attraction they have for me at first. It will take some time for you as well, I expect.
Claire: Um, okay, sure.
BoobaWooba: Now, tell me dear thing, what do you like most about doing porn?
Claire: Well, I don’t know, I guess I like to have sex a lot and doing this for a living allows me to fuck a lot of hot guys without having to date or go to bars or anything.
BoobaWooba: Would you ever consider doing a scene with a partner who is not of your race?
Claire: You mean, like a black guy?
BoobaWooba: No, I was thinking more along the lines of someone from another planet?
Claire: Well, let me put it this way. I would never do a scene with an alien who was three feet tall, green, and who resembled a mutant frog with a diseased complexion. Also, severe body odor would be a sure deal killer as well.
BoobaWooba: Let’s move on. What do you like most about your huge tits?
Claire: Well, they’re really sensitive. I like to pinch my nipples when I’m about to come and it really boosts the orgasm. Guys really seem to like my tits and they usually cum all over them after they fuck me. I like to rub the cum all over my boobs until they’re all shiny.