You Got The Herpes

Dear Mr. Booba Wooba,

BoobaWoobaThis letter is to inform you that one of the six Anataran Pleasure Cows we sold you last month is a carrier of Zarphlaxian Herpes Complex, mutation X3410R. We are very sorry for this error and we will happily refund your purchase price for the cow at your request. Please be informed that anyone who has had sexual relations with the cow can expect to be infected with this highly virulent strain of Zarphlaxian Herpes, which is curable only by receiving 300 doses of Valtrexo Galacticol injected directly into the rectal cavity of the sufferer every day for 6 months. Symptoms of infection include dry mouth, runny nose, moderate hair loss, bloodshot eyes, aching joints (especially in the pelvis), violent diarrhea, stomach cramps, a stabbing pain in the crotch that feels like a samurai warrior is disecting you with a sword starting at the testicles, painful swallowing, phenomenally odorous bowel movements that may require gas masking to avoid losing consciousness, ringing in the ears, toxic flatulence, memory loss, coughing up large brown chunks that may hatch into flesh eating insectoids, skin sensitivity, and slight loss of appetite. Again, please accept my profoundest apologies for this incovenience.

Feuromino Hexanianimo
President, Full Moon Sexual Beast Services